REFLECTIONS

LETTER TO AGE                       

Dear Worldly Wise Age

Hope you are ushering gradually in my life. Today morning only I saw that grey hair peeping out near my ear.Frankly, I was not happy to see you in your first stage.The very color gave me an insight of your effect on receding growth of my molecules, cells and tissues. I call this accumulation of damage as growth as you will grow as time passes by. Should I be happy seeing you growing or should I feel sad finding myself live for less number of days and inviting some latent ailments as unwanted guests? I am in dilemma. 

Its not that I don't feel happy at your arrival as you have made me more mature and sane. With you my metaphysical perceptions have widened too. I feel one with my spirituality and find emotions and sentiments taking practical turn, whose path lead to meeting with almighty. I might not be very religious till now but surely not an atheistic. I have started observing and comprehending with much rectitude and without any prejudice.

You want to embrace me with your firm hands and I run opposite to your hold as mentally I am not ready to be friends with you. Some fear of unknown insecurity grips me tight. Perhaps my adulthood needs more time to develop better quality of imagination, courage to face you and various undesirable things and above all make more choices, which I know at your advent will begin decelerating.My faculties of exploring, dreaming, discovering and  inventing will sit somewhere at the corner of my neuro system. My cognitive skills will start fogging. Even my eyes will have clouded dreams. Your length will clearly be shown on my face, on my cheeks and under my eyes. Still you'll have your beauty in the appreciations and comments I'll start pocketing. You will increase my smiles in pains and subtlety in  unsubtle. You will show me real behind every mask and brutality in the guise of compassionate heart. I know your powers, yet I feel so nostalgic in giving credence to your advent.

Ah! Why I find you so unwelcoming even when I know you are so beautiful in your attribute, though very ugly in your physicality? Why I make faces when you look straight into my eyes to accept the way you are? I will settle all the queries when you bloom, as I know you'll remove all my doubts then. And that's what make me feel excited to welcome you with smile on my face and anxiousness in my heart.

Please come tortoise steps as I believe in famous aphorism," Slow and Steady Wins the Race."

Yours newly born grieved Soul

Sangeeta Sharma

 

SOUL TALKS
Injured Wings,Strong Will      
 Ten long years of brutality was born with compassionate and concerned heart by her for her husband who was a schizophrenic. Not that she was vulnerable and paltry, but her family values had upper hand than her miseries. Her two sons, parts of her flesh cemented her audacity to face all the physical and mental torture imposed on her by destiny.
Running from post to pillar to treat the one who gave her worst treatment was her solo shot, as she had married him as complete man : with his virtues and vices. Social shackles of prohibitions on women were too feeble to stop her zeal to cure the incurable. She was not doing it for herself as she was bestowed with beauty with brains, she was not doing for her sons as she is their pillar, but she was doing it wholly and solely for her other half who required his other half's help, concern and care. She kept  tasting the pain with each passing day injuring the wings of her own personal aims and wishes.
He did not improve. Intensity grew in manly dominance over her. Every physical assault calcified her wifely feelings, but her motherly emotions and her own being boated her to safe harbor. She accumulated all her injuries and started healing by leaving all that was knifing her physically and mentally. Boldly she stood strong willed against time, people, society and values.

Law bowed to her for her endurance, pain and sufferings. She came out with injured wings from that matrimonial alliance which had soiled her all feminine desires of happy married life. Her two sons now become her destination. With her strong will and not taking care of her injured wings she smiled at destiny to over power its powers on her. 
 Through all odds she gathered all courage to be in one to one conversation with time and circumstances to show every one her own identification as bold mother. Her elder son got admission in DTU, Delhi in engineering course, guiding the younger one to follow the legacy. She proved that injured wings can't stop any one to soar high, provided one should have passion and belief in oneself.
The journey has just begun for her to bask in its all pleasures. She has bandaged her dark past with present blessings. She can fly.

Sangeeta Sharma

SOUL TALKS

Making of You                                                                        

We are what we have faced in our lives. Good and ecstatic moments make a happy person of us but sad and painful moments snatch all that is joyous and peaceful in our lives and give birth to turmoil of hardships and nostalgia. The process of our making undergoes a sea change. 

Change is unavoidable facet of life. What exists surely has to grow or decay. Growth is what we welcome but the moment decay starts our making dwindles.We feel restless, frustrated, sad and low. After all change changes the change even. Should it root deep inside in our making to let us feel helpless and vulnerable?

 Any change should not affect us like a blast. The capsule of acceptance must be gulped without waiting for its reaction on the change. After all it would be another change only that would take place.  If we cure ourselves of getting disturbed, we'll through changing in our making mechanism, can win the situation. The making will be easy and as per our traits.

Our making mechanism involves making our vices our virtues, negatives as positives and pain or scars as happy moments and success stories. For an instance, oysters make pearls so that they can feel better. When a grain of sand or debris get stuck in their bodies, they ease the pain and irritation by coating it with multiple layers of nacre, the mineral that lines the inside of their shells, and pearl begins to form. Basically, pearls are like blisters, only much prettier. Thats the making of precious out of painful change.

Our pains, be it physical, mental or at social level, should rub us to shine bright and sparkling than roughing us into shattered souls with loss of morale and deteriorated strength to fight the battle against any change that changes our making. Remember our core values lie in our making of ourselves tough against all that is odd and painful.That lays the solid foundation of " Making of You......Real shiny and precious you."

Be an oyster in your making and let the change be inviting in making you....better you....the best of you.

Sangeeta Sharma

WARM SHADES

Ma 

" You come, I'm just waiting for you." The words hammer these days in my mind, not because of her helplessness to see me next to her but because distance has distanced us enough to even let me go and hug my ailing mother and say consoling words of warmth to remove her insecurity where she thinks that every one would leave her because she is on bed, ailing and losing her memory, mixing words and moving in past and present to and fro.

 Her deteriorated abstract thinking and disorientation to time and space has given her, her childhood stage back. The stage of seeking everyone's attention, obstinacy, weird communication and blabbering. Her all sacrifice as a wife, mother and even other relation has all lost its value. All that is important is her present state-Fearsome, insecure and chaotic. Is this what for we spend our life dedicating and committing to our family, profession and social circle? 

She is lucky to have her kids tightly  clung to her in spite of distance, professional demands and family requirements. Her one painful cry is immediately reacted to with soft words and at times with angry words just like with a small child any elder behaves on his in genuine demands or stubborn behavior. My heart cries to see my tree whose shade I am, withering and drying.

Ma who sacrificed all through her life to see her kids rise and grow from all point of views, still is sacrificing her desire to see her daughter staying miles and miles away and sacrificing her wish to walk to places, sacrificing her slumber over some unknown fear, her beauty for wrinkles, her sanity for ambiguity and her communication for faded and bygone unreachable memories. Alas! her luck for unlucky situation in which shes now...Dementia.

 All around the globe there might be innumerable daughters and sons who might relate this situation as theirs. The pain is same. The tears are same-Saline and transparent, feelings are same-very abstruse and inexpiable, situation is same-clueless and out of reach to handle and yet very different in intensity and control. The very word " Ma" takes all pain away and wipes all tears and controls all uncontrollable and unreachable situations and feelings, even if she herself is declining in managing all these. That's the strength of the word "Ma" which shades us from this storm.

"Ma" is the complete cosmos in itself. "Ma" is the essence of our existence and survival." Ma" is one religion in all religions. " Ma" is one word of infinite words.

'Ma" is only love amongst all hate and " Ma" is the only creator among destroyers. Ma is just Ma-The creator of our little world. 

Sangeeta Sharma

 

Reflections

Why Arguments?

Sometimes we are in a situation where we have to establish our point of view through arguments not because we feel other is trying to demean us but because we feel what we know and have expertise over is taken other way around by the person.We feel our dignity immediately come in defensive mode and there starts exchange of words which gradually changes into heated arguments.

Argument...Literally means exchange of views esp. heatedly plus for or against the reason. Its a hard fact that everybody is entitled to have his or her views.It's his or her right of expression; the fundamental right. Trouble walks in when we meet someone having difference of opinion.The other person thinks his point of view is right and actually it must be as he has got the solid reasons for arguing for his motion. 
Problem is not to be firm with one's own opinion but uneasiness starts when we condemn other's point of view and forgetting about our own. That is the root of an issue. If we have control and grip on our point of view and if we are sure of what we treasure as knowledge than we'll not argue with others.I can illustrate it with an example. There's an apple tree and if some moron comes and starts claiming it to be a mango tree, will it be? It will remain an apple tree no matter what people say, think or throw at it.
If we understand this simple "argument" our communication with people will get simplified. We'll start smiling at the onset of such situations where arguments will take place. 
Saying "no comments" or simply walk out of the situation is not a cowardice but wisdom. After all "Speech is silver and Silence is gold." And glitter of gold can't be argued upon.
When we allow other person present his point of view with acceptance,

question of argument will never arise. I'm what I am. You are what you are. Adding or subtracting with the help of words will not define us, but how we react surely will.
Choice is entirely yours.You want to be you or be what others want you to be .Ball is in your court always.

Sangeeta Sharma