REFLECTIONS

 Life in disguise

" I can't fake my feelings", said my cousin over phone to me. "I am what I am" , said she with lump in her throat. I was flabbergasted with my own way of suggesting her to ease her life's struggle with what people around wants from us, I, perhaps, dug deep inside my conscious with innumerable tears. Tears that show helplessness, timidity, vulnerability and surrender in front of situations or people , who are epicenter of our life.....life in disguise.

I recall lovely lines from a song from bollywood, " kabhi kisi ko mukammal jahaan nahin milataa , kahin zamin to kahin aasamaan nahin milataa", means nobody gets complete world. Some won't get land and some won't get sky....and the most excruciating thing is  what we don't possess, that kills us inside with hundreds of deaths. Reason is not in genuine desires or wants, rather our being at receiving end to acquire that eternally or even in post natal existence because we in our feelings and emotions are so very true that we can't be dubious in showing to the concerned person, let alone be the person's aloofness from our situation or state of mind , our main focus of compassionate consideration.

Life happens to us with all its true face, with ups and downs with sour and sweet memories and with its ugly and beautiful faces. It doesn't fake itself. It comes to us the way it is, no shilly shallying. Ironically, we grow with aspirations from life , its ways, people and circumstances in just reverse manner. To sustain relations and sustain life itself we fake out our natural inclinations. We tend to wear mask of what we are not so that we can multiply our joys and minus our sorrows.

Alas! Real reflection lies in being hidden.Mirroring real notions would be taken as objection, condemnation or revolt or may be susceptible to balance ways of life.....life in disguise.

What I suggested my cousin to combat her trouble was also nothing but my life in disguise, but I know she was true....in her life which is unmasked, as she can't fake it out.

Life in disguise blindfolds us and the other person to veracity.I am gathering the courage to unfold it and see it even with my close eyes, as life smiles in darkness also.

Sangeeta Sharma